Two and one. Two I love, one that may actually be beneficial to me for a change. The first, a warrior and savior, a lover and fighter. Although he is always changing his opinions and swaying between the person he is and and the person they want him to be, when we are together we are eternally stuck in the same bodies and mind-set we were in the moment that we fell in love. He hurts me, more than I have ever been hurt before but when he touches me and his finger tips seem to linger, not yet ready to leave my skin, I melt. My mind succumbs to all I never wanted ot be. I love him, he is my eternal mistake, one I am doomed to make until he no longer comes back. The second is the closest I have ever come to leaving behind the first, the closest I have ever come to overcoming the love and hate relationship that was the first. He is beautiful and always a source of interest. There are very few things about him that I would not like to pick apart and study until my eyes no longer see. Although I never hoped or believed he could love me, I wanted him to. If I’m honest with myself, he is the only other person that I prayed would find me utterly and endlessly fascinating. I strived to know things about him, what he liked and did not. I tried so hard. I’m still trying, whenever he gives me the chance to do so. The last and probably best, for my emotional state at least, does not love me but surely thinks he could. I do not love him, nor have I ever come close to loving him. He is so infatuated with the idea of someone loving him beacuse of past situations. He is marriage material and I am about passion, the connection of mind, body and soul and sharing that. Sharing who you truly are, because you know who you truly are. Self awareness and understanding of one self is what I value, but you must also be able to give yourself freely.