Time is never-ending. Although we die, the time that has surrounded us all of these seemingly exigent years, these ultimately insignificant years will not stop. Our lives seem so vast and imperative to us and yet in the end, we are so inconsequential. I know I have said this before. I guess I am just re-realizing it. I would like to believe however, if only for my sanity’s sake, that someone will feel when I a gone. For one moment, their time will halt. Some connection, any connection I have made will possess and retain a strong enough bond that some kind of telepathy will pass and she will know. He will know. They will know. It will be as if I am giving you my silent goodbye, my special goodbye; my undying gratitude. In words unspoken, your bones, organs and resplendent heart will know my irrevocable love.

For whatever reasons, I am infatuated with you. I am willing to be hurt by you; never will I understand why. I know the truth. You are my father. You are my mother. You are my past, present and the others that are soon to come. You are continuity and finality. Every aspect of you is going to tear me apart until there is nothing left. I don’t care. I am flying high, on every emotion available to man. I am superior. I am screaming at the top of my lungs and no longer is it a piercing shriek of fright or humiliation. It is brave, a deep and dark roar from the pit of my courageous chest, filled with passion from my bare and benevolent heart. What I need from you I will never receive, these feelings will never be reciprocated. I am beautiful, more beautiful than you can fathom or comprehend, than you would even attempt to comprehend. Acceptance has become a daily routine and on this day I will accept the fact that even when I am not alone, I am alone.

For unknown apprehensions, friendship seems like an impossibility. Despite my vacant stare, I am feeling something. I can feel myself breaking and it feels good to feel anything at all; rather than just wearing cheery adjectives on my face, exuding superficiality without hesitation. It is a shiel I continually carry. This is a mind set which is just that, set.

I will prevail. I will immerse myself in creativity and expression. I will indulge in flesh and delight in the beauty and in the disappointment that are human beings. I will leave technology behind me and learn the bare truth about myself, learn the bare necessities.

For as often as I judge without thinking my judgements through, make snide remarks without hesitation out of anger and feel superior for inconsequential reasons, I will also be one of the first to tell you that everyone has problems. Some times, as I’m sure we’ve all heard many a time before, we’re just too caught up in our own to recognize when the people around us are hurting. It does not matter what we are all going through, does not matter whether your life is ten times worse than the girl you know who is crying about her ex-boyfriend. We all go through pain, we’ve got to understand that, even if later these girls and boys realize that those problems were insignificant. For now, it hurts. For now, we cry. For just that reason alone, I feel that I’ve got to at least try and be kind to these people that I meet. I heard a quote once, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” In spite of my naivety I thought it a beautiful concept but then thought no more of it. Not until recently did it dawn on me just how true that idea is, just how groundbreaking it would be if people would take it to heart the way that I did not up until this day. At least now I can try. I want to be a better person, even if only to inspire someone else to do the same.

"let us laugh and cry and solely sing"

Simple Song -Iwan Rheon

I feel so happy.

It feels so wonderful to know who my real friends are. It feels like I’m standing out in my backyard, with the sun shining down on me. It’s like the first day of summer, after all of that spring rain. Even though I still feel like a fool, at least I know the truth now. After each mistake, I know myself. I find myself in those people who hurt me, regain the strength that I’ve always had and just forgot to acknowledge. It’s like I’m starting all over again, with a new found hope and a revived confidence. So, no matter whether I make this same error in judgement again, I can take solace in the fact that it will gift me these feelings of rebirth, balance and optimism.

With every facet of myself, I love you. I love you with all of those cliche words. I love you truly, madly, deeply, irrevocably, unconditionally, unwaveringly, stolidly, indefatigably. I have denied my feelings for so long. I know it is too late, I know that we will never be what we once were. I’ve said it many times over and still know the truth. There is just nights, when I lay in this bed, and I imagine that I can smell you. I imagine that you are here with me, as you were so many days and nights before. I imagine waking up to you and kissing you. I hold my teddy bear, the one given to me by you, so closely…as if it were you, I suppose. I pray that you don’t lose your beauty as so many others I know have.

No one has seen my body. No one will see my body. I’m not sure why I’m typing this here but I just want to tell someone anonymous who will not come up to me and ask, even though I know there are people here who know me personally they are not the type of people to do that. I will not go in to detail about my skin and the horrible marks that mar my body during the Winter but it makes me feel ashamed. I hate the scars that linger on my arms from rage and sheer stupidity. Although it is out of my control, I can not look at myself without crying. I hate the monster I feel I am. I hate how harshly I know people would judge me if they could just see. In some ways I am glad you are gone because I do not have to explain to you why I can’t take my shirt off when we make love or why I do not want you to touch me even though I want you more than anything with every fiber of my warm flesh and unclear mind. I can not stand the fact that it will not leave, no matter how hard I try. I hate my body, and sometimes I really don't like myself.

Moira Shearer

I will be the first to tell you that I can not dance well. I was told once that I would be good at it, but it has just never been something I felt comfortable doing unless in the comfort of my own basement. I do not know the names of famous ballerinas or dancers, yet I admire them so. Some days though, I stand on my tippy toes and I pretend that I am those people. For a moment, I am not worried about my skin, or the boy who left me, I am beautiful and even though no one is watching, I can feel eyes upon me. There is no judgement in them, just awe.

In my eyes is the story, in my soul lives the truth.

I am not perfect. I am delicate and rude and when I look at myself, I like myself. I am not horribly fond of myself but with each mistake, I learn more about myself, learn more about what I can withstand and learn the true meaning of what it is to be a good person. So, now that you have left and I have been hurt, I realize what it means to feel sadness and I am accepting of the fact that there was no real love to speak of. I will be just fine, for I have learned and experienced. I will move on as though you did not exist, but I will remember each kiss and gentle touch. I will remember each loving word and deceitful smile. I will remember them often and happily until the memories begin to fade and I once again find someone who will attempt to hurt me in this same manner, who will have the same intentions as those before him. This time, however, I will not be as easily swayed.

It is a sure sign of feeling and passion when there are no words, there is just music. There is a kind of grasp on your soul, mind and skin. There is a connection between two human beings occuring in between the rhythm and cadence of the powerful lyrics and purely breathtaking instrumental harmony.

The lights on the highway are dull and they’re cold but I’m warm with contentment ‘cause I’m on my way home.

I know that we have all lived this feeling and I just want to let you know that you can read this anywhere, you can find my story in the teen section, you can find all of our stories but I am here and I am living this right now and if you need me, I am here.

Every time the phone rings, every time I feel it vibrate, I am praying that it's you but it never turns out to be. When you tell me you want to see me, I get more excited than I do right before I go on stage. When I drive past your house, I just want to walk to the door and run in to your arms. When I drive past you, I literally break in to tears. Look, I know we're not in love. I know we weren't in love. I do love you though, I genuinely do. We both made this mistake, please let us both make it up to each other.