I love it when people ask me what my favorite school subjects are because no one ever gets as in depth with it as I do. I will sit there and explain to you for hours how I love English, because I love to read and write. Words fascinate me, words are how we communicate. If there was not words, we would not have lyrics to songs. It is also fascinating as well to imagine what life would be like without it, and to research how it came to be what it is. English is a part of the world, connected to everything in this world.

I will sit there and explain to you for hours how I love Math and things like that, because it is one of the few things in this world that has a legitimate answer. You can always find a solution to the problem in front of you and if you can’t, then there just isn’t one and you never worry about it again. I love Math because I wish life was more like it.

I will sit there and explain to you for hours how much I love history, because it is remarkable to me how often the world repeats it’s mistakes. Over and over. It is like reading a book with full of different characters who are doing the exact same things, some of them are just more memorable than others.

Heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's a moment in life when you actually feel alive.

I Felt Your Shape by: Microphones

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXpxzhKOboo

I sit here and write about whatever topics I can find. I try to distract myself. I work on my room. I go upstairs and sing and make videos. I text friends. But when there’s nothing left to write, there’s nothing more than can distract me, my room is as far as it can get, Dad wants me to quiet down and everyone is asleep…what else can I think about but you?

I could've sworn I wasn't alone.

When I look in the mirror, I do not see a girl who is pretty or skinny. I see a girl who is broken and bruised. I see a girl who has lost her path in life, trying to find it through quotes, words, photographs she has taken, pictures she has drawn. I see what others see, what others judge because they do no understand. I see who I want to be, but she is stuck on the other side of the mirror. She is pounding. She knows you are gone, just as well as I do.

Look, I know that I’m fifteen and I know maybe we’ll move on later, that we have our differences. I know things are hard. It feels like the whole world is trying to tear us apart but I don’t give a shit. I don't give a SHIT. I don’t want anyone but you. You’re extraordinary and you don’t even see it. You’re perfect, in every single way.

I don’t care if I sound dumb. I don’t care if people are tired of listening to me bitch. I don’t understand why this is happening and I don’t want it to happen. I don’t care if I have to go to the ends of the earth to keep you. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, it’s never easy. I’m not saying we’re going to change and things are going to be perfect but I know what I want. You’re what I want. I’m doing everything, can’t you see that? I’m trying to get a job to pay for gas money to see you, I’ll be keeping my grades up, I’ll be skipping rehearsals.

Don’t give up on me now. We both know we’re not going to find that feeling again for a long time.

Crying. Sobbing. Eating. Pretending to watch a movie and crying. Sitting with my best friend and turning away because I’m crying. Avoiding talking to everyone because I’m crying. Telling Dad I’m asleep because I’m crying. Covering my face with a book because I’m crying.

Crying. Sobbing.

just a best friend moment, you know ;)

"just won't sleep, you know, WHATEVER"

I haven't slept in two days, today will be the third. I'm getting up to go make food and watch some movies up stairs, that way I can talk to my parents before they leave.

Some mornings my Dad will come in my room and I'll pretend to be asleep, just like I used to when I was little. He'll kiss me on the forehead and tell me he loves me, because he obviously doesn't think I'm listening. It makes me sob everytime. I love my Father so much. I wish I could say the same for my Mom. I think I really legitimately hate her, but I can't tell if it's for his reasons or my own.

Sometimes I can't type after I have an orgasm.

I seriously haven’t been able to sleep in weeks. I lay in bed every night. I sit in the same room. I do the same routine, over and over. I read, I draw, I write, I Tumblr, I watch SVU. You’d think I’d just get bored and fall asleep but no. I turned my TV off, turned the lights off and just laid here staring at my ceiling (which has glow in the dark stars that I LOVE) and I couldn’t fall asleep. I just can’t. I feel like maybe I’m worrying about school and other stuff and that’s why I can’t sleep. I really wish I had someone to talk to about all of this.

I just wish I knew what was wrong with me. It’s not because you’re coming over later today, ‘cause I passed out last time you were coming over and didn’t wake up until you got here. asdhsjakd Ridiculous.

As lame as it is, I can't stand it when you're texting someone and they fall asleep before you. I want you to say goodnight to me so I feel safe. I want to know that if I called you in the middle of the morning that you would be right there, that you would answer and reassure me that I was going to be alright, despite my fears. I want you to think about me after I've gone to sleep, I want you to miss me. It's selfish, but I just think it's cute.

I especially love "falling asleep" before someone else. I love the way they hold you and play with your hair. It's just such a sweet, perfect moment.



Although, on the flipside, I love watching someone else sleep.
I think, one of the greatest moments of my young life was when I woke up in your arms and just lay there and watch you sleep. You snore like a pig, you move and twitch but it was the most innocent and beautiful thing I've ever seen. I've never seen someone in such a pure moment before. There are no pretenses, there is no words, there is nothing sentual about it. You were like a child in my arms. You were sweet, innocent. You were an angel, on this earth. Your head on my breast, your eyes shut. I swear I saw you smile a little bit, I think we both knew that we were home.

"Somedays I wish you were a stranger so that I could find Love again, so I could find bliss. Beautiful oblivion when I touch your lips, untamed fire in this kiss."

Indecisive.

I changed my mind, I don't like you. I just think you're cute.
I always think so much higher of you than I should.

You're a let down, just like everyone else.

I miss the feel of a woman’s body.

"And everyone knows that you're my favorite girl, but there's somethings in life that are not meant to be. I'm not meant for you and you're not meant for me. Here's to our problems and here's to our fights, here's to our achings and here's to you having the good life."

Good Life by: Francis Dunnery

I love when music gives me inspiration to make me write, even if it's about stupid things. Earlier I was complaining about how everything I write is generic because it's about love or something else, but in the end, it doesn't matter what I'm writing about. If I'm helping to make someone else to feel understood, that's all I care about.
I don't care if it's cliche.
I don't care if it upsets me to write things like that.
I don't care if I don't like it at first.

Art is a work in progress, always.
It could always be better, at least from someone else's perspective.
That's why you're so surrounded by art in life.
Art IS life.
It is a representation of our lives.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe we would’ve been better off if we had just become friends. I wonder if we would’ve been really close and then maybe it would’ve developed in to a relationship, maybe it would’ve been a relationship that could’ve lasted…or maybe we would’ve just stayed friends. Maybe we would’ve been friends like Callie and Alec. Maybe it would’ve been that sad story when we were both in love with each other but wouldn’t tell each other because we were so scared that we would lose our friendship.

Sometimes I wonder if you being my boyfriend first and best friend second wasn’t good enough. I don’t know, I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about all of this, I can’t stop over analyzing every second of our relationship.

You told me you were going to read this today.
So, I figured I'd tell you I love you. A lot.
I'm sorry that we lost touch for a little while. However, you seem to be one of the few people who has really stayed through my side.

You're beautiful, I mean that in every way possible.
I admire you.

I feel different.

I feel like a different person. I like this person. I want to regain the friendships that mattered that I lost. I want the people who left me behind to get lost and actually stay lost this time. I want to work as hard as I can for as long as I can until I get the things I want. I want to stop wasting my time on everyone else’s bullshit. I want to love unconditionally and be loved unconditionally. I want friends to stay by me, friends who truly are what friends should be. I want to find happiness in the most simple things. I want to lead a life that I will be proud of, that anyone would be proud of. I want to live in art. I want to be a goddamn masterpiece.

...Why isn't Tumblr working?
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ALL DAY?!

so, last night I accepted that I like you and that I have to deal with it. I wish I knew why it took me so long to finally be okay with that notion...well, actually, I'm still not okay with it.
I think I'm just so afraid of being hurt anymore, I think I'm afraid of getting close to someone.
I think I'm also afraid that I won't be as close to anyone ever again as I was with you.

The funny thing is, I haven't really cried much. I guess that's because it hasn't really set in...or maybe I really should just be done and my mind knows that.
I don't know. I don't know.

I need friends, friends who are actually decent to me.

Yeah, that's about right.

I love you.

I just loved laying with you, laying with your hands running over my body. I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I’ve never felt more beautiful. I’ll always love you, not a lot will change. I’m just glad to know that I’m going to be okay.

Why?

WHY?

Take Me Away~

Everytime we get together, we crash. Well, I don't know about you but I still feels the sparks, no matter if we clash.
I want to be reminded each and every day of your absent minded smile,
but not so much the venom your lips once spit.
There's something about you that intrigues, something about you when you're stripped.
Stripped of the influences surrounding you and stripped of the worlds expectations too.
You are an old soul, the one in this world that all can constantly relate to.
Were it not for you, my soul would be lost in eternity. Were it not for you, I'd be yelling for help, yelling so desperately.

Falling to my knees and begging for forgiveness is hardly the worst punishment to endure,
what I could not take is knowing you never cared, knowing that I shouldn't have felt so secure.

Mostly, I just wish everything I wrote wasn't about you.

What I Could Not Take by: Myself

Look,

I'm not saying I'm a "bad" writer, I'm just saying everything I write is always about a generic topic. Love, loss. That's what everyone writes about, ya know? I guess that's because they're the most relatable subjects, I just wish I had other things to write about.

Could've given up so easily, I was a few cheap shots away from the end of me.

I could've fallen to my knees and stayed there but I'm still standing, although I'm beginning to wobble. I could've let everything go and let everyone fall away, but I've still got the real friends that will stay by my side although it seems like all your friends are enemies.

I don't know what to think about people anymore.

I haven't cried this much in such a long time.
God.Damnit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd-A-iiPoLg

I'll be listening to this allllll day~
along with:

Waiting... by City and Colour
Leave by Glen Hansard
Dance So Good by Wakey Wakey
The Tranfiguration by Sufjan Stevens
and Boy with a Coin by Iron and Wine


love.
Spending the night with Katie, expect some extremely beautiful posts due to the state I will be in.

I drove down to Nashville to audition for American Idol this week. I had an amazing time. Unfortunately, I got cut the first round. Obviously I’m bummed, because I actually thought I did a decent job, but it’s okay. It was worth it all.

When we were standing outside the Arena waiting to go inside for auditions, I met this girl named Alana. She was so much fun and we walked in to this circle of other contestants. Some of them had guitars and we all just sang together. It was one of the greatest moments and greatest feelings I’ve ever had. We all knew nothing about each other, where we came from, things about our lives but for an hour or so we were family. We felt close to eachother, closer than we've felt to almost anyone for a few moments. We bared our souls for eachother to see.

I love Music. I love it so much.

Just got my wristband, audition is Saturday :)
if anyone reads this, please wish me luck!

I think that Disney gave me a horrible perspective on what love is supposed to be, maybe that is why so many other people's opinions and views on it are flawed.

You do not love someone because they make you happy, you love someone because no matter what an asshole they can be, no matter their problems, no matter their baggage and no matter how much they frustrate you at times, you want to make THEM happy.
That is what love is about.

I've been working on redoing my room all day. I'm selling some furniture and buying a new mattress from my friend Tori. I don't know why this is making me feel so good but it is. I ate chinese and made CD's for the car ride tomorrow. I don't know why this is making me happy but it is. I think my room is going to make me feel brand new, which is something that I need right now.

Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

“If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?” — Beauty & the Beast

If you need a friend, I'll be a friend. If you need someone to sympathize, I will be right there by your side. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I have a tissue in my hand as well. If you need someone to hold you, my arms are always open. If you need someone to love you...well, I've never stopped. If you need someone to listen, my ears are yours for always. If you need someone to truly hear you, my heart and soul are yours as well. If you need a lover, I will be that tonight.

This is one of those of moments. These are the days that I don’t mind being alone with my thoughts, because they are good thoughts and because I know that things are going to be alright. These are the days that the music I hear inspires me to be someone I want to be.

These are the days that being alone is alright, the moments I’m alright. The moments that give me faith that each day will get better.

Change my mind, change my life. Do something to help pass the time. I'm stuck in the moment, stuck in the past. I still believe this was meant to last.

Always by: Myself

I have come to the conclusion that in all technical sense, I do believe in God. I do not call him that because I feel that people use this "God" to further their own agendas, but instead of owning up to it, they say that it was someone else's intention. They say that something larger than themselves is what is fueling their hatred. If there is this person, this man called God, he was forgiving and not judgemental. If he was, then I would not in any way call him a higher being.
I believe that he believed in equality.
I believe that he wanted this world to be filled with beauty.
I believe he was the most loving person in this world.
I believe he was accepting of all.

I believe he was love and that is why he is the higher power.

I have also come to the conclusion that I do not believe in "sin." I believe that if you continue to further yourself as a person, if you continue to learn each and every day from your mistakes and from others then you will go to what some people like to call heaven. As long as you further your development and do not discontinue your learning, then you will lead another life after your death. Or else I think you will continue in another body until enlightenment, somewhat like Buddhist religion.

I have come to the conclusion that I do not believe in what I believe in in the hopes of death being less frightening. I am not afraid of death. I am afraid of not living up to my full potential.

I have more to write but I guess I'll edit it later.
I hope that this is helpful to someone...someday...maybe.

Dear Blogger,

I'm sitting here and allowing Callie to crimp my hair, I bet this is going to look interesting. Anyway, I felt like writing today just because I feel like complaining.

I don't understand how you can tell me that you love me and then treat me the way that you do. I just don't understand why you wouldn't fight for someone that you supposedly care so deeply for, but no matter what I will continue to love you. That's the person I am. You can hurt me and you can continue to bend me until I am broken, but I will love you every single moment through all of it. That's how much you mean to me.

I will never forget the beautiful moments like when you told me that our lives were like a tragic love story and I told you that if I were to die in that moment, I wouldn't care because I was by your side. I will never forget when we laid in bed curled up in each other and I read you to sleep. I'll never forget anything. I'm not a person that forgets.

I guess I'll stop writing about you, I just hope that you read this some day.
Like I said, they always end up together in the end in love stories. Always.

Out with my best friends. Liberated. Care free. Happy.
Please don't let this feeling end.

No matter who I'm with,

I am thinking of you. I am wishing I was with you.
STRIKE THAT.

go. fuck. yourself.

I've been listening to this CD since I woke up this morning (the one I posted before the last one with Sufjan and Panic), it's making me feel so much better and it's making me think...in a good way, not in the usual overanalyzey way that I think.
These are the days that I want to believe in this "God."

Callie's coming to get me soon, hopefully. I think it will be good for me to be around some friends or something. I feel like writing until then but I'm not really sure what to write about, everything is so played out.

Dear Number One,

I know you won't ever read this, not just because you don't know I have a blogger but because even if you read it, you wouldn't TRULY be reading it because you wouldn't believe it.

I started following you on Tumblr but I don't think you noticed.
I want better for you.
I want you to know that you are truly loved, by so many.
I want to tell you that above everyone in my life and everyone I have ever met and out of everyone I will meet, you are the driving force that makes me strive to be a better person each and every day. You are the one giving me the courage to take the steps toward being the person I want to be, doing the things I want to do. If I could take each and every one of your problems and put them on my back, I would carry them until I could no longer and I will have you know that I would not carry them with such elegance and grace as you have.

You are my idol. You are the brightest star in this sky. Because I knew you, I have been changed. Because I knew you, I have a piece of perfection inside of me, a piece that you gave me. I love you, more and more, with every passing moment.
Number one, always.

"For you, I'd bleed myself dry."

"Do you know what your place in this world is yet?"

No, and I don't think that anyone truly can at my age.
I do, however, know that I was put here for a purpose. I know that I have a specific path I am meant to follow and that I do not intend on straying away from that path.
I know that being a performer is what I was meant to be. I know that working towards being a better person is what I need to do everyday.

I want someone to believe that I am endlessly fascinating.

I wish you could feel my blood and tears on your wrists and heart.

I just feel like sobbing in all honesty~

so, I decided to make a new playlist with all new music that I've never posted before. I hope that someone reads this and enjoys it. I put a lot of thought in to it.
Earlier, I was telling Patrick that I would really like to make CD's and just put them in people's mailboxes. I want to write long letters to them as well and make them cd covers that make sense with the music. In the letters, I want to explain to them why the songs are so important to me and when/how they've helped me. I hope they understand and I hope it makes them smile. People should smile more.

Little Lion Man -Mumford and Sons
Love is a fast song -Copeland, in motion
The Morning Light -Books&Letters
Third Engine -Saves the day
Come Away With Me -Norah Jones
Lady -Regina Spektor
Seventy Times Seven -Brand New
Falling Down -Oasis
Daylight -Matt and Kim
Strange and Beautiful -Aqualung
Brighter than Sunshine -Aqualung
Everything -Glen Hansard
In the Sun -She and Him
Sleeping At Last -Chandeliers
Keep Us -Peter Bradley Adams
Layla -Eric Clapton
Red Balloon -Lola Ray
Dance so good -Wakey Wakey
Almost Everything -Wakey Wakey
Possibility -Lykke Li
Roslyn -Bon Iver & St.Vincent
High and Low -Greg Laswell
Your Ghost -Greg Laswell
Band of Horses -The Funeral
Maps -The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Ghost Town -The Cary Brothers
Signal -Sonny Moore
I gave you all -Mumford and Sons

writing for hours

I may not be who I want to be but I am someone you can see, I am someone living in this fictional reality. These roads are paved with ink that disappears, you’ll never know where you’re going until someone surrounding you interferes.I might’ve been something different, but I ended up being the same thing I have always been. There’s not a moment I didn’t think I’d end up famous. I don’t want to breathe. It seems like you’re not even here.You’re one of those people that they worry about, you’re the Kurt Cobain of today. No wonder he’s your idol, when you’re so alike. I just sit here runningmy hands throughmy hair, there’s nothong I can do but stare. I can’t breathe, it seems like you’re not even here.Forget the things I said I meant, I never meant to hurt you.I never wanted to lose you, you’re slipping right through.The cracks are pulling you under, the world is taking a way my very own 8th world wonder. Please stop letting the smoke fill your lungs, I’m so scared that it won’t come back up.I keep praying for a change, just hoping in vain. There’s nothing left of you, there’s nothing left of me.Everyone has to agree. We’re not the people that we used to be. There are some words that we said. We’re just hanging by a thread.Are you going crazy? No, just a misanthropist.I guess you couldn’t resist, couldn’t stay away from becoming everyone else.I miss the boy I knew, the man he could’ve been.He’s still somewhere inside of you, still perfection within.The drugs ruined it all, I can’t believe I expected you to save me from this fall. You’re the downward spiral keeping me in this bed.I’m just like my mother. All I can hear is you not caring, those words in my head. I’m stuck in the past, at a time when you loved me. I’m stuck at a time when there wasn’t so much apathy. There’s so much carelessness inside of me.I don’t mean in the good way, I don’t mean that I’m free.I mean that I’m chained to the ground with the wolves surrounding me.You told me that you wanted to spend the rest of your life by my side, now you say it’s all over. This is the day that I died.

~~~~~

“I’d rather sit here and wait for a message that won’t come then do the things that need to be done. I don’t want to get up, I guess you’ve won. Nothing seems to motivate me, nothing but you I guarantee.

Everyone keeps saying that everything will be alright, I guess I’m just not seeing the light. I guess I should say thank you to everyone who tries to make me okay, but I’m not thankful. It’s an emotion I just can’t convey.

I wait and write and waste the day, I always waited for the day you’d go astray. Falling in love changed me until the end of time, I’ll miss the moments that felt sublime.

Everyone keeps saying that everything will be alright, I guess I just won’t see the light. I guess I should say thank you to everyone who tries to make me okay, but I’m not thankful. I guess the love I felt, I just couldn’t convey.”

Earlier today I was thinking about, "what if I got famous," I feel like if I had fans, they would read things like this and my formspring and wouldn't like me that much because they'd realize that I am imperfect.
I hope that instead of disliking me because I do not believe in God or because I have extremely down days, they will understand and they will know that they have felt this way. And because they admire me for my music, they will admire me for my honesty as well.

I hope that is what happens.
I'm not going to doubt that I will be famous anymore, because I'm going to be.

I think Blogger really is just a place for everyone's pessimistic thoughts, so here we go.

I hate humanity. I've tried so hard for so long to believe that maybe there could be beauty, like the title of this blog said, but I just fucking can't anymore. I can't believe in anything with everything that is going on. I probably won't feel the same in a few months but for now and until then, I am in a downward spiral that I don't intend on even trying to pull myself out of.

On the somewhat brightside:
Although I don't really like the show that much, I'm auditioning for American Idol next week in Nashville. I hope it goes somewhere...on the not so bright side, I might miss Warped Tour because of it. Shit.

Dear self,

I feel like everything has become so pointless. Today I was on tumblr and it said write a letter to the person you see in the mirror...well, here it goes:

Stop hoping for things that aren't going to happen and stop hoping for people that you know won't stick by your side, people that you know can't stick by your side. There is no point in hoping for things that can not be, and there is no point in leading yourself to believe that what you want will miraculously be.
Stop believing in the people that will never support you. Stop loving those who just can't...it is not because they don't want to, it is because they can't.

Let yourself be free, although I know you won't.

goodnight.

I knew this would happen when I saw him, it was inevitable.
I can feel myself coming apart at the seams, I'm going to have to hold myself together again.

I think

I'm going to slip right back in to what I was when I lose you for good.
God damnit.

How I feel about you in a blog post~

I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved anything or anyone. I love you with every piece of myself. I love you. You have everything, every single piece of me. I have never given myself to anyone so completely and truly as I gave myself to you. You have my heart, mind, body and soul. I have never let go of you or stopped loving you in the almost five years that I've known you. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever known in my life, you are one of the few things that truly made me believe that there was beauty in this world. You make me smile. The way you smile at me, the way your hand bumps mine, the way you tell me you love me, the way I feel safest when I'm around you no matter what is going on, the way I feel invincible when I'm kissing you...I could honestly go on.
But like you said, "everytime we come together, we crash." There's always problems. It's not all your fault or mine. It's our age, it's the people around us, it's the place we live in, it's everything around us trying to pull us apart.

In the end, I will be yours until I find some way to let go...be that a few months from now until the end of my life. You are the most beautiful person I know to this day. You are my best friend, the person I feel whole with. You make me feel complete and infinite. You are the first person I ever loved and the first person that ever made me feel loved. You are perfection personified and all any girl could ever hope for. I'm sorry for my flaws and frustrating quirks. I wish I knew exactly how you felt.

I will be here waiting for you. No one else has ever touched my heart the way you have, I can't imagine anyone will.
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

;

So, we broke up. I haven't cried yet and I haven't fallen to pieces, I think that's just because my family is constantly around though. I don't know.
Every single day seems harder than the last, especially now that I'm back home. I don't understand why this always ends up happening to me.
I'm not letting everyone else take the blame, a lot of it is my fault.

I just don't want things to be rough anymore.
I just want to be okay.
I just want to lay in a field of grass, be loved and held, read and write, be carefree. I just want to be alfuckingright.

~

I guess this blogger is going to be a lot more about my feelings then my tumblr and a lot more writing, so I suppose I'll just post whatever is on my mind.

I think it's funny that on my cellphone, I have an alarm for "Tumblr time" and "Blogger time," which are both usually somewhere around 2 to 3 in the morning. Typical, Elise.

Anyway, since this is about whatever is on my mind, I'm going to have to write about you.
We haven't talked in so long and I've tried to hate you for such a long time, now that we're talking again...it's exactly the same. I'm not saying that I want you back in any way, shape or form because I'm all his and we both know that, it's just weird to have to think about the way I used to feel about you. It's weird to wonder what might have been, although I seem to do that with everything in my life anyway.

"I'll just say I will honestly always think you're beautiful."
I feel exactly the same. I'll never forget that night, any of those nights. I'll never forget what you meant to me. I'll never forget what a great friend you were to me or how much we cared about each other. I'll never forget you.
I love you. I don't mean romantically but I do.
Don't go anywhere again.

other than writing,

I think I'll use this to recommend music to those who read~

Anonanimal- Andrew Bird
Plans and Reveries- BlackGold
Karma Police -Panic! at the Disco cover
Like A Stone -Audioslave
Behind the Sea -Panic! at the Disco
Falling Slowly Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want -The Smiths
Paperweight -Schuyler Fisk and Joshua Radin
Be Your Own Pet -The Kelly Affair
Dancing -Elisa
Fuck Was I -Jenny Owen Youngs
This Woman's Work -Greg Laswell
The Transfiguration -Sufjan Stevens
Doll Parts -Hole
So Close -Jon Mclaughlin
Both Sides Now -Joni Mitchell
High Together -Shwayze
What Sarah Said -Death Cab for Cutie
Northern Downpour -Panic! at the Disco
From The Morning -Nick Drake

well,

I haven't been on here in months but I've been writing constantly, trying to distract myself from the thoughts in my head. I wish I knew if people were reading this and if, in some way or another, someone is reading this and I am helping them because they can relate. That's all I ever hope for really, to help anyone. I think that's why I've always wanted to be a singer/songwriter, even though I'm not terribly good at it, because I want to give people something that they can relate to.

That's why music is so powerful to me at least.

Anyway, I have a lot more to write but I don't want to write a giant post, so I think I'm going to go one by one. I just don't like really long ones, no on ever reads them all the way through.