No one has seen my body. No one will see my body. I’m not sure why I’m typing this here but I just want to tell someone anonymous who will not come up to me and ask, even though I know there are people here who know me personally they are not the type of people to do that. I will not go in to detail about my skin and the horrible marks that mar my body during the Winter but it makes me feel ashamed. I hate the scars that linger on my arms from rage and sheer stupidity. Although it is out of my control, I can not look at myself without crying. I hate the monster I feel I am. I hate how harshly I know people would judge me if they could just see. In some ways I am glad you are gone because I do not have to explain to you why I can’t take my shirt off when we make love or why I do not want you to touch me even though I want you more than anything with every fiber of my warm flesh and unclear mind. I can not stand the fact that it will not leave, no matter how hard I try. I hate my body, and sometimes I really don't like myself.