As the tears roll down my face, gently carress my lips, the year roll through my mind, pull at each string inside of me. I am reminded when I wake in the morning and the does not shine with the same vibrance, I know; when music is the only thing that floods or temporarily washes off the pain, when music brings on the pain with each exceedingly relevant lyric. I am awash, drowning in a sea of senseless grief. Senseless only because I will continue floating and despite my greatest wishes, the visions I see in my head and pray to become reality simply are not to be and will never be. You will not sail out to sea, and if you do, it will not be to come after my lost soul, simply to see the world. You are free. You were left free and I was left in this state of perpetual madness. No one is going to come after me. When the tears make the ocean higher, my head will slip under. I will try to claw myself back to the top, as though I were stuck in a grave…ironic only because I am. I will look up, at this mess I have made, the mess I allowed you to make of me and I will let my body sink with my dreams and you.