I really don't know how to feel about any of it. I mean, I want so much to just be happy and take my own advice about things, let what will be simply be. My mind just won't let me do that. I'm listneing to Skinny Love by: Bon Iver. The lyric I love most is, "tell my love to wreck it all, cut out all the ropes and let me fall." Yesterday, as I said, my terhapist said I analyze, over-analyze. But, how do you stop yourself from trying to protect your heart when you know that ultimately almost all of the things you love now, or at least generally romantic relationships, will undoubtedly fall apart? My guarding my heart isn't ou tof nto caring but caring too much; I could give him all, steal his heart and fill him in every way possible, but I don't because I don't want us both to fall apart when we walk away. This way he'll never know that I could have made him the happiest he has ever been, that I could have made his dreams come true.