Sometimes I sit down and think about people, things they've done to me and things I've done and it really starts to hit me. I can't explain what I mean...just, sometimes I ignore my feelings and then it slips to the surface and I start to realize how profoundly it has affected me and how hurt I actually am, then I wonder how I keep this calm facade when I have all of these gut wrenching, bone shaking, painful feelings inside of me. It's weird, and a little frightening, that I'm so good at hiding the truth. I start to wonder if that's why some of my relationsips don't work, 'cause I act so uncaring and indifferent but then when the truth comes out, I'm just a breakable girl who has been broken before. I've built up this nearly impenetrable wall because I'm so scared and damaged and aching and resentful.