This is the first time I’ve been able to cry without having to be drunk or high. This is the first time that I have looked in to myself and found something that I never thought would come back. I said to myself, what I would have said to anyone willing to listen, “I never thought I would feel this again. I thought that this was the end.” Despite how cliche it all is and how unbareably infantile my thoughts just so happened to be, it did feel as though I was never going to love someone so deeply agian. I can’t tell myself that I love you as much as I loved him because I just don’t, it’s going to be an extensive amount of time until I love someone as deeply and infinitely as I loved that boy. I still love that boy, not in the same ways as I did but there is love there. I will always store a place in my heart, until the day that I die. When I look at you though, I smile. People don’t think you’re the most handsome but I see so much more in you. You say you’re not smart but I’m fascinated by your quirks, your knowledge of things that I know nothing about. You’ve so much to teach me and you don’t even recognize it. Already you have taught me so much, about myself and about the truth. You make me laugh when for months, I faked a laugh unless I was intoxicated. Now I can laugh, although I am still intoxicated, I am intoxicated with the beauty and the warmth surrounding me. There is a sense of calm I get when I’m with you and for the times that I am not near to you, I am anxious. Not to say that I am so attached to you that I lose myself but I miss you, I slowly get a feeling of unrest that seems to be so deeply seated inside of me. I’m not giving this up, not for the world. I told you I was scared and I am. I am horribly frightened by the idea of falling in love and being thrown to the ground again, I am horribly frightened by the idea of having a home and then being left shelterless. As many people say, things like this are worth the risk. You are worth the risk. So, take all the time you need, I’m going to be right here.