we talked on the phone for hours. It is the longest time we have spoken on the phone without (severely) getting on each others’ nerves and without getting in to a conversation that lead to a fight. We talked and we joked and we were real with each other, even if we neither of us were one hundred percent honest with all of our feelings about our lives. I know that I dig myself back in to this place but I just can’t resist you and I’ve been denying that fact, accepting that fact, denying that fact and coming to terms with that fact for so long. I know though, in the deepest parts of my heart and the front parts of my mind, that nothing is ever going to be the same. Never again will we love each other as deeply or as naturally as it used to come and again I have denied, accepted, denied and come to terms with that fact. I’m not sure where I’m really going with all of this but I love you. I will always love you. You will always love me and now I know that you really did love me. I know you did and I know that everything about this was as real as it possibly could have been, as real as the father in front of me and as real as cold outside. At the age of 11 years old, I found someone that I could have loved for the rest of my life, it just so happened that the world and influences surrounding us ended up tearing us apart. That’s a part of life, I will never forget the moments. I will never forget the words between us. I will never forget anything. I’ve said over and over that I knew when it was over but it really hit me tonight, hit me more than it has ever hit me before. We were playing Truth or Dare and you said, “I don’t want to play anymore.” “Why,” I asked. “I don’t know what to ask you anymore.” “There’s nothing you have ever wanted to ask me, nothing you’re interested in about in me,” I said. I awaited an answer that came much faster than I expected it to. “No.”